POCKET MONSTERS GREEN VERSION: Why am I doing this

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POCKET MONSTERS GREEN VERSION: Why am I doing this Empty POCKET MONSTERS GREEN VERSION: Why am I doing this

Post by muffinz on Mon Feb 29, 2016 1:46 am

Okay, after totally losing steam on Vietnamese Crystal and putting it on hold indefinitely, I thought I was done with screenshot Let's Plays, but I want to do SOMETHING special to celebrate Red & Green's 20th birthday and its re-release. Also, I've always wanted to show more people this masterful trainwreck of a game, and you guys seem like a good place to start!


So, welcome to Pocket Monsters Green Version!
POCKET MONSTERS GREEN VERSION: Why am I doing this 6Yp6tQY
If you're not familiar with this, Pocket Monsters Green Version originated as a regular copy of the Japanese Pokèmon Green. However, someone out there (or a team of someones) had a great idea-- translate the game fully into English, then sell it illegally.

The problem, of course, was that they didn't know English or game programming all that well. What resulted from this was a poorly-translated, buggy, Engrish-filled mess. Yes, this game is absolutely a mess in its current state, but it's a beautiful, charmingly inept mess, and one that I'd love to show off to you guys.

Update 1:
POCKET MONSTERS GREEN VERSION: Why am I doing this YUSKHZ1
Right off the bat, things look different. Let's see what's in SETUP.
POCKET MONSTERS GREEN VERSION: Why am I doing this Zvl9D6O
See this? Look at this shit. We've gotta decide whether to VIEW or PASS the FIGHTING CARTOON! Or whether the RULE OF COMPETITION should be replaced or circled! You can probably tell what the top option is, but the lower two are battle animations on/off and Shift mode/Set mode.

Anyways, let's go hit START and get into this.

POCKET MONSTERS GREEN VERSION: Why am I doing this Lh8eqyB
POCKET MONSTERS GREEN VERSION: Why am I doing this ZPH5YpG
POCKET MONSTERS GREEN VERSION: Why am I doing this T6BalhH
Right off the bat, you're treated to poor English, awful text spacing, and sentences wrapping over to the next text box mid-word. I'll be taking the liberty of transcribing all the dialogue here to make reading it a little easier on you.
It's our first meeting! Welcome to the world of pocket monster! My name is Aochider I was called. Dr. PET was loved and esteemed by us all!
In this game, he isn't Oak, he's AOCHIDER. What a glorious name. I'm pretty sure it's just a direct transliteration of his Japanese name, and it's probably pronounced something like "Ow-kee-der".

POCKET MONSTERS GREEN VERSION: Why am I doing this CbdsIGe
In this world the alive creatures called as pocket monsters live in every corner! The creature named PETwas treated as a pet to take part in the competition! And I'm doing a study of this PET. That is all.
Now, check out that inconsistency there. Throughout this game, you'll notice that the monsters are varyingly referred to as either "Pocket Monsters" or "PET", with the latter appearing to be the more informal name for them. Weird, huh?

POCKET MONSTERS GREEN VERSION: Why am I doing this 5ykXBA2
Time for a name! Now, I haven't really thought in detail anything about naming themes or funny jokes. This whole Let's Play was actually a pretty spur-of-the-moment thing. I'm writing this post at the same time as I play the game, so nothing's planned out at all! I'll just go ahead and use the first name that comes to mind.

POCKET MONSTERS GREEN VERSION: Why am I doing this 0zsJEBM
Uh... I'm not sure why that's the first name that came to mind. But I said I'd use the first thing I thought of, so I'm running with it! I think it's pronounced with a long "E" sound, like "Steets".
(BTW, clicking on P2 START doesn't do anything at all.)

POCKET MONSTERS GREEN VERSION: Why am I doing this St6NJ81
I'm not an "it", Aochider! Rude.

POCKET MONSTERS GREEN VERSION: Why am I doing this RAgseVp
This little boy is my grandson ! either your paly partner or your opponent . Well? What's your name?
POCKET MONSTERS GREEN VERSION: Why am I doing this WmqZCTd

Our "paly" partner, huh? Yeah, misspellings like this are why I think actual people translated this game. If they'd used a machine translator, all instances of one Japanese word would be replaced with a corresponding English word, but there are real mistakes and misspellings throughout the game.

POCKET MONSTERS GREEN VERSION: Why am I doing this HFyXfGM
Paly is a funny word. He's our paly partner, so he's Paly!

POCKET MONSTERS GREEN VERSION: Why am I doing this FZ93mhH
Oh,right!now - I rememberit's called Paly!
(For the record, I'm going to be preserving all the capitalization and spacing mistakes in the dialogue. If you see what looks like a missing capital letter or space, it's probably that way in the game too.)

POCKET MONSTERS GREEN VERSION: Why am I doing this ELpt4bA
Stets! Now, start your story !dream and adventure! Go to the world of pocket monster! go!
POCKET MONSTERS GREEN VERSION: Why am I doing this MdcVVy8
POCKET MONSTERS GREEN VERSION: Why am I doing this KpJycub
And here we are. As screwed up as this bootleg is, at least those nice nostalgic graphics and music are all the same. In fact, the only real difference is the text! If you feel like playing Red/Blue, playing Green is almost exactly the same aside from some extra glitches here and there.

POCKET MONSTERS GREEN VERSION: Why am I doing this CRtYVIP
That's not a computer! Well, okay, it's a "Famicom" in Japan, so I can see how they'd translate it as a computer.
POCKET MONSTERS GREEN VERSION: Why am I doing this 5B5JzRQ
Stets is operating a computer! ......, ......, Ok! It's time to go out for a walk!
Check out those funky ellipses! For some reason, this game almost always puts ellipses in groups of six followed by a comma. You're gonna see that a lot.

POCKET MONSTERS GREEN VERSION: Why am I doing this AK7Pn18
POCKET MONSTERS GREEN VERSION: Why am I doing this ALIzyYz
What dramatic-sounding options here. I'll go ahead and take the Potion out...
POCKET MONSTERS GREEN VERSION: Why am I doing this MNyVQo4
...or should I say, the WOUND CURE. Well, hey, at least it's a very descriptive name.

POCKET MONSTERS GREEN VERSION: Why am I doing this PLV2Tek
Mother:Oh,yes! ......boys should go to travel whenever he likes. H'm! ......It is said in TV! Ah,yes! Dr. Aochider living in the next door came to call you!
I'm not a boy, so do I not get to travel? What does your TV say about that?
Anyway, here we have our first objective: go to the next door to answer Dr. Aochider.

POCKET MONSTERS GREEN VERSION: Why am I doing this LIWMmsN
But as we go there...

POCKET MONSTERS GREEN VERSION: Why am I doing this AvoEdW1
Paly What? Is it Stets?
Paly apparently starts all sentences by saying his name, and he has terrible eyesight. Or at least, that's my headcanon so far from the subtext I've gleaned. :P
My grandpa Aochider isn't in if you want to meet him!
What a polite little kid.


On our way to go find Aochider, let's examine the town some.

POCKET MONSTERS GREEN VERSION: Why am I doing this X2WBt6k
Here is =white city. ==== White is a primary colour
No it fucking isn't! This sign is really hilarious to me though. The massive space, the lack of punctuation...

POCKET MONSTERS GREEN VERSION: Why am I doing this DObPInJ
One of my favorite details about the translation in this game is how blunt and nondescript all the explanations of things are. Here is the home of Stets. This topic is the topic of let's play. What I am writing now is words.

POCKET MONSTERS GREEN VERSION: Why am I doing this YzwIGhn
It's Aochider! Looks like we've gotta wait him.
POCKET MONSTERS GREEN VERSION: Why am I doing this 3ZaNixB
Aochider:It was bery dangerous just now!
Yeah, watch out for those berries. Gonna stain your shirt.
The wild PET will run out from the grass ! you can let PET have a try if here there is PETbut ...... wait for ok, follow me!
And just like that, he decides to give us a PET. What a nice old man.

POCKET MONSTERS GREEN VERSION: Why am I doing this NWLnzLV
POCKET MONSTERS GREEN VERSION: Why am I doing this 0QYJzfk
Paly:grandpa! and others are very tired!
Not just Aochider, no: several others are tired as well!

POCKET MONSTERS GREEN VERSION: Why am I doing this ZjknsRr
Aochider:Is it Paly? . ...... ......Ah, really? I'm shouting! wait a movement!
This bit of dialogue here is absolutely hilarious to me. My favorite part is his use of "movement" in place of "moment".
Ah, Stets! Are there 3 PET? Ha, ha! There conceals PET in the monster ball! I was famous PET TRAINER for my exellence! but now PET is old, only exists three s.
Did Aochider get old, or did his three PET get old? Who knows.

POCKET MONSTERS GREEN VERSION: Why am I doing this B80mfOK
POCKET MONSTERS GREEN VERSION: Why am I doing this T84kKhj
Paly: Ah! How sly! grandpa! also give me one!
Aochider: H'm! Don't be anxious Paly! select one you like!
He tells Paly to select one, but as usual we've got first pick. Let's check out our options:

POCKET MONSTERS GREEN VERSION: Why am I doing this BB7lhYq
SHADO, the lizard
burns the fire on the tail from the time it was born and ends its life as the fire burns out

POCKET MONSTERS GREEN VERSION: Why am I doing this HFeXYtZ
Why! flame pet is there also a shadow of human figure?
Shado has a cool name and a terrible sprite! To answer Aochider's question, there is no shadow of a human figure, as far as I can tell.

POCKET MONSTERS GREEN VERSION: Why am I doing this 5meB2Bn
TORTO, the shell
its long neck draws back the shell comfortablly and emits out water.

POCKET MONSTERS GREEN VERSION: Why am I doing this 69n7VeX
The PET stepped on the water is dependent on the tortoise?
Apparently, this comfortable, long-necked Torto can step on the water! What a strange creature.

POCKET MONSTERS GREEN VERSION: Why am I doing this NJgHJBO
INCON, the seed
is on the back of the plant from the time it was born and it fostered to become gradually larger and larger.

So INCON doesn't have a plant on its back-- INCON is on the back of a plant. This must mean that the real PET here is the bulb!
POCKET MONSTERS GREEN VERSION: Why am I doing this Ky3JZ1t
Really? an unimaginable seed of plant PET . Will it do?
It will do!

POCKET MONSTERS GREEN VERSION: Why am I doing this 5samKlU
This PET is really very healthy and very good!
POCKET MONSTERS GREEN VERSION: Why am I doing this THkk4ta
Stets has reciev INCON from Aochider !
POCKET MONSTERS GREEN VERSION: Why am I doing this GeiUvIU
Uh. I actually have no idea what to name this thing. At the time I'm writing this I've sat on the naming screen for 10 minutes. At this point, I'm sick of waiting for inspiration to strike, so I'm going to force myself to come up with a name in less than 10 seconds and use whatever I get.

POCKET MONSTERS GREEN VERSION: Why am I doing this LP0Seqe
For some reason Greg was the first word to pop into my head, but it must be misspelled because Engrish. So, uh, I guess his name is Grerg from now on.
This was a terrible idea :V

POCKET MONSTERS GREEN VERSION: Why am I doing this GmFFnDH
Paly: Then I want this!

Paly has reciev SHADO from Aochider!


Now, time for our first battle!

POCKET MONSTERS GREEN VERSION: Why am I doing this KWy0jpA
Paly: wait a minute! Stets! It's difficult for me to get PET from Grandpa! ......, Act as my opponent !

POCKET MONSTERS GREEN VERSION: Why am I doing this Yw6FWM2
POCKET MONSTERS GREEN VERSION: Why am I doing this Sk2yx6Q
Paly
has made a challenge!

POCKET MONSTERS GREEN VERSION: Why am I doing this ZQi8ikY
Paly delegated SHADO!
POCKET MONSTERS GREEN VERSION: Why am I doing this CRo0pQt
I can't believe this stupid goddamn name I came up with. Okay, to tell the truth, I'm possibly probably not keeping Grerg on my team during the entire game, so we might not have to look at that name forever?
POCKET MONSTERS GREEN VERSION: Why am I doing this SupWJ9I
Check this out. Tackle is GO ALL OUT, and Growl is CHIRPS. Aren't those names incredible? I love them. You're gonna be seeing plenty of fantastic move names during this playthrough, don't worry.

POCKET MONSTERS GREEN VERSION: Why am I doing this H6baces
FOE SHADO's SCRATCH to assail!
They could've just said FOE SHADO used SCRATCH, but no, its SCRATCH is being used to assail! Isn't that wonderfully unnecessary?
POCKET MONSTERS GREEN VERSION: Why am I doing this Lq0dCZZ
Unfortunately, our own PET's moves will not display that full message.
POCKET MONSTERS GREEN VERSION: Why am I doing this KpNy3Bk
Uh, that isn't good damage. Hopefully he starts using CHIRPS soon.
POCKET MONSTERS GREEN VERSION: Why am I doing this UGcjz7C
POCKET MONSTERS GREEN VERSION: Why am I doing this Trm0P6k
There we go.
POCKET MONSTERS GREEN VERSION: Why am I doing this EymUWrT
The enemy's SHADO falls down!
Okay, luckily that wasn't too bad.
POCKET MONSTERS GREEN VERSION: Why am I doing this 7s43h8W
Grerg has got 69 an experience value!
POCKET MONSTERS GREEN VERSION: Why am I doing this AXf9K74
Nice stat names, aren't they?
POCKET MONSTERS GREEN VERSION: Why am I doing this VDHqjLw
I've won the contest with Paly!
And suddenly, first-person narration.
POCKET MONSTERS GREEN VERSION: Why am I doing this WaMWUY7
Well, how it may be that. fool! It's so good for your PET!
POCKET MONSTERS GREEN VERSION: Why am I doing this FuN5l80
Sorry to slow us down with so many shots of standard battle text like this, but I wanna make sure you guys get to see all the text this game has to offer at least once! I'll only show lines like this one and the experience-collecting one once each, to avoid redundancy.

POCKET MONSTERS GREEN VERSION: Why am I doing this 1feKrio
Paly:Well! Compete with other PET first! you'll get stronger and stronger! Stets! grandpa! Then, bye-bye!
Paly's still got a signature line in this one, but it's the much more polite "Then, bye-bye!" as opposed to "Smell you later!" Isn't he such a nice guy?

POCKET MONSTERS GREEN VERSION: Why am I doing this 3xE5FyM
With that taken care of, it's time to head forth into the first route!
POCKET MONSTERS GREEN VERSION: Why am I doing this JccSOQ0
And encounter our first wild battle!

POCKET MONSTERS GREEN VERSION: Why am I doing this TSQJTR4
Kelar! Nice name. Most of these names are probably derived from the original Japanese name of the Pokèmon, but butchered into unrecognizability by transliteration and the five-letter limit.
POCKET MONSTERS GREEN VERSION: Why am I doing this PbuXUDY
Kelar isn't too big of a deal to deal with. All it has it Go All Out right now.


POCKET MONSTERS GREEN VERSION: Why am I doing this YLATaV8
Here is No.1 hjghway, white city ......, evergreen city
We have our destination! Evergreen City waits for us on the other end of this hjghway. As you can see, the cities are still named after colors in this version, but they're translated differently from the real games.

POCKET MONSTERS GREEN VERSION: Why am I doing this YI00NE6
I'm a clerk of the friendship store,
Nice name.
It's a convenient prop shop .
Nice description.
Next time when you come to the evergreen city welcome you to have a look again! Oh, yes! Give you the sample ......! please!
POCKET MONSTERS GREEN VERSION: Why am I doing this SlcKg4l
And another free Potion! Good to have.

POCKET MONSTERS GREEN VERSION: Why am I doing this QWZkzJ5
Somehow made it through without any more encounters.
POCKET MONSTERS GREEN VERSION: Why am I doing this SUhrRmC
We've made it to Evergreen City! You'll notice that the shade of green has changed to be more evergreen-ish.
POCKET MONSTERS GREEN VERSION: Why am I doing this Iif3NQX
"How cheap a bulletin board" is the prefix to most signs in the game. Is it written on the sign, or is Stets supposed to be narrating it? We may never know.
How cheap a bulletin board! For PET,except for strength, --has source of vigorous force to show trick
The gist of force ,--------------it is the gist of force for the trick. When hasn't it, ------order them have a rest in centre PET!

This is supposed to be explaining PP, but you'd be forgiven for not realizing it.

POCKET MONSTERS GREEN VERSION: Why am I doing this 2oSSM84
Welcome!to our centre PET !Here of PET recovered his strength. Do you deposit the monster ball ?
Barely took any damage, but we might as well show this off before heading back.
POCKET MONSTERS GREEN VERSION: Why am I doing this ZFLl3jd
POCKET MONSTERS GREEN VERSION: Why am I doing this EbDDjKa
Ah,sorry to have let you waiting so long! my deposited PET.How strong all of you are!
I don't know whether the nurse is claiming ownership of my PET or if the text suddenly switched to Stets talking halfway through. Neither option makes sense :V
POCKET MONSTERS GREEN VERSION: Why am I doing this OhPzqYM

Okay, time to go pick up the parcel and head back, as usual. I know there's NPC dialogue I could be showing off, but since this is the first part I don't want to spend too much time not progressing. I'll show what they say next time through here.

POCKET MONSTERS GREEN VERSION: Why am I doing this Jd2jzp3
Ao! you Are you come from white city?
POCKET MONSTERS GREEN VERSION: Why am I doing this 2vKDAJ4
Do you know Dr. Aochider? This is entrusted . Can you transmit it for me? Stets has checked the postal parcel from the shop!

Then, remember me to Dr. Aochider!

That was some... interesting stuff. With a postal parcel in hand, it's time to head back, but not before checking out an easily-missable bit of hilariousness. Try to leave town to the north, and...

POCKET MONSTERS GREEN VERSION: Why am I doing this 0tm8KPq
Hello! ...... wait a minute! Listen to me! ......Hi! Don't go there! I've said it to you!
POCKET MONSTERS GREEN VERSION: Why am I doing this EsOjwaJ
Why, grandpa! I can do nothing about it that you sleep here ! Only waiting you to dispel the effects of alcohol!
Yep, he isn't tired, he's drunk! He supposedly had a hangover in the original Japanese version, but the translators just mixed that up with general drunkenness.

With that out of the way, let's head back down No.1 Hjghway to White City.

POCKET MONSTERS GREEN VERSION: Why am I doing this AXWismv
There is a height difference on the road! To jump down .is really terrific. but ......, can go back white city quickly
Notice the use of "terrific". The translators apparently got "terrific" confused with "terrifying", because they use it that way multiple times during the game.

POCKET MONSTERS GREEN VERSION: Why am I doing this DKmqVZ5
I'm back!
Aochider: Well! Stets , How about you? The PET ...... I've fostered are all obedient? you should have hand of PETTRAINER! ......What is given to me? Stets gives him something that should be sent to Dr. Aochider!
What a hilariously roundabout sentence. And again with the perspective-switching!
Well! This is the specially-made monster ball that I've ordered ! Thank you, thank you very much!

POCKET MONSTERS GREEN VERSION: Why am I doing this LI74viO
POCKET MONSTERS GREEN VERSION: Why am I doing this FFG59MJ
Paly I've forgotten them all! What's matter?
Oh, everything is matter! Except energy, of course.

POCKET MONSTERS GREEN VERSION: Why am I doing this HVNLS9W
Aochider, H'm,yes! Would you be kind enough to dosth. for me?
Dosth? Dosth??? What the heck kind of word is dosth?

(yes i know it's "do something" abbreviated. i can still make fun of it, so shoosh.)

POCKET MONSTERS GREEN VERSION: Why am I doing this A6drKGi
On the table is my illustrated handbook of PET! found the data of PET. It can record automatically. The pages also increase automatically A high science-technologically illustrated handbook!
Okay, "illustrated handbook" is basically a literal translation of the Pokedex's Japanese name as far as I remember, but this is still funny. It makes it sound like it's just a paper notebook with magically-multiplying pages!

POCKET MONSTERS GREEN VERSION: Why am I doing this 6ISKLKY
Aochider, Stets Paly, these all are kept here by you! Stets recieved the illustrated handbook of PET from Aochider!

POCKET MONSTERS GREEN VERSION: Why am I doing this 7TQ8NGE
Record all made-perfectly illustrated handbooks of PET ---in the world! that's my dream! but, I've become an oldman! I can't undertake to do a difficult job as best one can! thus, you can replace me to realize my dream! then, you two set out at once! This is a great job left on the history of PET!
Sorry I don't have much to say here. It's still funny to me, but there aren't many jokes or comments I can make during this speech that don't sound forced.

POCKET MONSTERS GREEN VERSION: Why am I doing this K2WO6rS
Paly, yes, grandpa! Just leave it all to me! Stets! It's a pity that it wouldn't be your turn next! You're right! Borrow a map of the city from my elder sister!
Aww, how nice of you. You're so considerate, Paly.
Tell my elder sister not borrow it to Stets.
Nevermind.
you'll waste your energy through having arrived at lotus pool!
POCKET MONSTERS GREEN VERSION: Why am I doing this HXXr555
Okay, I have no idea what he meant by "lotus pool". There's one location in this bootleg with "lotus" in its name, but we aren't gonna arrive there for a while, and it isn't even a very important place.

POCKET MONSTERS GREEN VERSION: Why am I doing this P0q0SG9
All the PETs living in the everywhere are waiting for Stets!
What inspiring words to head out with!

POCKET MONSTERS GREEN VERSION: Why am I doing this Nuz8iVj
Alright, well, I think this is a good stopping point. We got our Illustrated Handbook (no Monster Balls though), finished the beginning tutorial stuff, and we're ready to actually head out for real. See you soon for the next update!


Last edited by muffinz on Tue Mar 01, 2016 12:59 am; edited 2 times in total
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Post by Spark Eletran on Mon Feb 29, 2016 3:48 am

Grerg reminds me of Gregj



This translation is incredible tho. I hope Sun and Moon get it as a tenth language, really.
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Post by muffinz on Mon Feb 29, 2016 10:40 pm

Wow, that's weird, I had no idea that existed! I've watched a little bit of Steven Georg's stuff, but not that LP. Full disclosure: I got the name "Stets" from a Steven Universe Youtube Poop that always referred to Steven as that by taking the first syllable of Steven's name and reversing it, and I made the name Grerg by doing the same thing to the name Greg. So it's just a really weird coincidence, I guess!



POCKET MONSTERS GREEN VERSION: Why am I doing this 8Cp0Pwy
Update Two! Time to head out of White City and maybe start catching some stuff.
Spoiler:
POCKET MONSTERS GREEN VERSION: Why am I doing this Xd854X2
Let's heal up first, though. I can't remember whether we took any damage or not since going to the centre PET.
Mother:Stets......!Go after a slight rest!How about, ......?......
Mother:Hello,hello! The spirits of you and PET are all so good! Then, be careful! Take it easy!

Mom, what did I tell you about eating people's spirits. Stop that.


POCKET MONSTERS GREEN VERSION: Why am I doing this FT4ngMMPOCKET MONSTERS GREEN VERSION: Why am I doing this WE92beO
Ah! This is new. Bobo is a funny name, but I think it's almost exactly what Pidgey's Japanese name is.
POCKET MONSTERS GREEN VERSION: Why am I doing this 1sYCyaJ
Oh my. That's... quite an attack name you have there.
POCKET MONSTERS GREEN VERSION: Why am I doing this Jo5oq4jPOCKET MONSTERS GREEN VERSION: Why am I doing this RqVPdHW
Jeez, its Blow hit home! That's a critical, by the way.

FUN FACT! In generation 1, critical hits don't do a flat 2x damage! Instead, they calculate damage as if the attacking Pokèmon's level was twice its current level. For example, this Bobo's crit just calculated damage as if it was level 6 instead of level 3. This means that the damage is often close to, but not exactly, double. At low levels it does about 1.5 damage, at level 30 it's about 1.8, and at level 100 it's 1.95!

The chances of a critical hit happening are also calculated differently. We'll get into that later!

POCKET MONSTERS GREEN VERSION: Why am I doing this GSN38sT
Anyways, not hard at all.
Wait, no, that wasn't supposed to be an innuendo. Shit.
...i mean, i'm definitely not, but maybe Grerg... nevermind.
POCKET MONSTERS GREEN VERSION: Why am I doing this HOS6TMf
Grerg remember PARASITE again!
Parasite??? Yeah, uh, remember what I said about the bulb being the real pocket monster here? This move name just reinforces that. As one of the relatively few people who has played Pocket Monsters Green Version, I believe I have the authority to declare it Official Green Canon that Incon is a sentient, parasitic plant that takes over the body of a stupid little green animal and uses it as a puppet in order to more easily fight and spread its seeds.

POCKET MONSTERS GREEN VERSION: Why am I doing this TdfHo8I
Back in Evergreen! Let's explore the place.

POCKET MONSTERS GREEN VERSION: Why am I doing this RZCXLXi
It is said that there are 2 kinds of persons who are bored of PET.Don't you know it ?
"THERE ARE TWO KINDS OF MAN IN WORLD, SAVVY AND NOSAVVY. WHAT KIND OF YOU?"
That's all I can think of when I read this. Let's say "No" first...
POCKET MONSTERS GREEN VERSION: Why am I doing this ALiJFKF
...Okay. Now saying "yes":
POCKET MONSTERS GREEN VERSION: Why am I doing this IeRt4Qh
Kartapy hasn't any poison but has more poison than Bidelu does! Be careful not to be stung by PET!
Apparently Bidelu has a negative amount of poison! He's talking about Caterpie and Weedle here, but somehow the translators made him imply that Kartapy's the one you need to watch out for.

POCKET MONSTERS GREEN VERSION: Why am I doing this XgWRjdX
Here is evergreen city -----evergreen is the colour of green forever
These signs are the funniest things so far, I swear. What are we gonna see in Pewter? "Dark grey is grey but darker"?

POCKET MONSTERS GREEN VERSION: Why am I doing this GzvlLdd
That is queer ball ......! --yes, it really is PET! It is convenient whenever PET deposit or draw, can do freely
This part has got vaguely-suggestive stuff all over the place, jeez.

POCKET MONSTERS GREEN VERSION: Why am I doing this AXhDJY3
Another free wound cure!

POCKET MONSTERS GREEN VERSION: Why am I doing this H9xGAqA
Also, we can buy Monster Balls now. Let's do that.

POCKET MONSTERS GREEN VERSION: Why am I doing this P2X2Ef9
Welcome ! What are you looking for?
POCKET MONSTERS GREEN VERSION: Why am I doing this 44QXYg6POCKET MONSTERS GREEN VERSION: Why am I doing this 34IDvUt
Here's our selection of items for the time being! These are all four of them, there aren't any below that. I'll just be buying 5 Monster Balls and two Detoxicate Cures for now.
POCKET MONSTERS GREEN VERSION: Why am I doing this 5ZSYUqJPOCKET MONSTERS GREEN VERSION: Why am I doing this BBUSCcr
Is it MONSTER BALL?Is it 1000$?
For whatever reason, they use the Us dollar symbol here instead of that other money symbol that's everywhere else.
POCKET MONSTERS GREEN VERSION: Why am I doing this M2CKQCe
yes,please!Thanks for your coming!

Time to start catching stuff! Normally, in a casual run like this, I'd only catch Pokèmon I was considering using on my team, but the Illustrated Handbook entries in this game are often great and I want to show them to you.
POCKET MONSTERS GREEN VERSION: Why am I doing this MM41Qm9
First: No.22 Highway!

POCKET MONSTERS GREEN VERSION: Why am I doing this JRr2zwc
That's a relatively accurate name! But what do you want to bet both the male and the female have the exact same name?
POCKET MONSTERS GREEN VERSION: Why am I doing this IFm1GAa
Stets has used MONSTER BALL!
POCKET MONSTERS GREEN VERSION: Why am I doing this ROyvJ1y
wonderful! NIDER were finally caught!

The data of NIDER was recorded in the illustrated handbook PETagain !

POCKET MONSTERS GREEN VERSION: Why am I doing this LlUpJhH
NIDER, the needle
the power is strong even though it is small the female's horn is smaller. Be careful.

I love these rambling, run-on sentences.

Okay, new rule: I'm going to name every PET the very first thing that comes to mind when I get to the naming screen. I've done it twice, might as well make it official.

POCKET MONSTERS GREEN VERSION: Why am I doing this BgJkpKQ
I officially hate this new rule. "Geromy" doesn't even fit! No, wait, hold on...
POCKET MONSTERS GREEN VERSION: Why am I doing this EiXVeBM
No, that's a real word! Oh, whatever. It doesn't even matter.

POCKET MONSTERS GREEN VERSION: Why am I doing this Ke4BoFQ
Hehe, Machi! That's fun to say.
POCKET MONSTERS GREEN VERSION: Why am I doing this NGFy3ab
Uh-oh. Super-effective move from a level 5...
POCKET MONSTERS GREEN VERSION: Why am I doing this E1pbQ7n
Fuck.
POCKET MONSTERS GREEN VERSION: Why am I doing this Snw5ohH
Thank goodness. I think another Peck would've killed him.
POCKET MONSTERS GREEN VERSION: Why am I doing this 2xVDeiL
Phew.

POCKET MONSTERS GREEN VERSION: Why am I doing this Rxl2NCl
MACHI, the bird
is very busy and flies everywhere . No much strength but it is difficult todeal with when parroting.

So it's busy, weak, difficult to deal with, and it parrots others? It's me!
POCKET MONSTERS GREEN VERSION: Why am I doing this BsizYVe
I... eh, fine, that works.


POCKET MONSTERS GREEN VERSION: Why am I doing this H28Hqr4
I don't think you can catch the male Nider in Green without an in-game trade later, so let's go to No.1 Hjghway.

POCKET MONSTERS GREEN VERSION: Why am I doing this 4EOZyla
Kelar! This one's definitely never gonna see the light of day again, but I wanna see the entry.
POCKET MONSTERS GREEN VERSION: Why am I doing this A4hMyPl
KELAR, the mouse
has long and sharp tooth which always grows up by biting off or shaving off the hard object swims with 3-toewebs in the lake.

What a weird animal.
POCKET MONSTERS GREEN VERSION: Why am I doing this L2pOc3b
For whatever reason reading "Kelar" always makes me think of this name.

POCKET MONSTERS GREEN VERSION: Why am I doing this ND6pxCi
And the other Route 1 catch!
POCKET MONSTERS GREEN VERSION: Why am I doing this AYiGadTPOCKET MONSTERS GREEN VERSION: Why am I doing this LWgFU7N
Uh. Wow. Nice text spacing there, geniuses. "Grerg SHIT! It's lowered!"
POCKET MONSTERS GREEN VERSION: Why am I doing this Id1Z7wG
POCKET MONSTERS GREEN VERSION: Why am I doing this VWFYy4c
BOBO, the bird
dislikes fighting hides in the grass can catch insects and alike.

Boring! This entry doesn't even have messed-up grammar or anything.

POCKET MONSTERS GREEN VERSION: Why am I doing this ZXZWvd9
I... I'm sorry, guys.
POCKET MONSTERS GREEN VERSION: Why am I doing this Pg8pWZT
I'm so sorry, I just... it has the move Blow, and it was just, it was the first name I thought of, and... I'm a terrible person.

POCKET MONSTERS GREEN VERSION: Why am I doing this Nz1RPR6
I'm not using the other two, but ItsMe is already pretty decently leveled, and they're definitely gonna be better in the early levels than a Bobo would be. I doubt I'll keep them as a team member for the whole game, but it's nice to at least use two PET to battle instead of one.
POCKET MONSTERS GREEN VERSION: Why am I doing this EIvnlBd

Alright, with all the catches from 1 and 22, let's head north! I know there's an optional rival battle I can go fight now, but Paly's already trained his PETs to level 9, and that's too much for me to deal with right at this moment.

POCKET MONSTERS GREEN VERSION: Why am I doing this 7TbQ67m
sometimes I go shopping to dark grey city ! but the road is zigzag in the woods to the evergreen city!

POCKET MONSTERS GREEN VERSION: Why am I doing this QjVm9Jo
We are... not talking to you yet. There's something you can do with this old man later, and I am exited to take advantage of it. First of all, we'll need Surf and Fly before we do it, so it'll be a while.

(You know what I'm doing, don't you? Yeah, that's happening. Just you wait...)

POCKET MONSTERS GREEN VERSION: Why am I doing this J4zSVlo
Whenever i came here the gym always closes Which fellow on earth is the head here?
"Which fellow on earth" feels almost like foreshadowing the fact that this is a Ground-type gym, even though I know it's just an accident.

POCKET MONSTERS GREEN VERSION: Why am I doing this 0LOV86j
......How cheap a bulletin board! All in all,seize PET Propagate largely! Propagate largely! It's that contests with TRAINER, ----The more the better!

POCKET MONSTERS GREEN VERSION: Why am I doing this 7tRDbtL
Here is road2Evergreen city ......, Grey city
On the road 2 Evergreen city, are we? There's one new catch we can get here.
POCKET MONSTERS GREEN VERSION: Why am I doing this 9dT7GsG
I actually forgot this myself, but even though Kartapy and Bidelu aren't version exclusives, only one of them appears on route 2 depending on your version, with the other not appearing until you enter the forest.

POCKET MONSTERS GREEN VERSION: Why am I doing this YadzPk0POCKET MONSTERS GREEN VERSION: Why am I doing this ClOydgj
Spin Silk is a very nondescript move name! On the right you can see the message for "But it failed!"

POCKET MONSTERS GREEN VERSION: Why am I doing this F7SrUpd
POCKET MONSTERS GREEN VERSION: Why am I doing this IVy69Xr
CATAP, the worm
has a green skin and exuviates several times and then vomits out silk to build a cocoon before becoming an adult

"Vomits" out silk. What a funny way to describe it. I guess its Spin Silk attack was just it barfing all over Grerg, huh? Poor guy.

POCKET MONSTERS GREEN VERSION: Why am I doing this WHgiTpw
Why. Why did I do this. I swear, you guys, when I say I'm using the first name that pops into my mind, I'm really doing it. It's resulting in a ton of absolute shit names that don't make any sense, but that's a price we all have to pay.

POCKET MONSTERS GREEN VERSION: Why am I doing this E75GohU
Look at these names. What the hell is wrong with me. While we're here, let's check some of their status screen stuff.
POCKET MONSTERS GREEN VERSION: Why am I doing this 2cQ8Y0d
Grass type is now Weed type. Nice. Here we can see the full stat names: Attack, Protec, Agile, and Specia.
POCKET MONSTERS GREEN VERSION: Why am I doing this ZxGm48c
Experience points are Wisdom instead.
POCKET MONSTERS GREEN VERSION: Why am I doing this Ul2qcVP
And the Bug type is now Reptile. Reptile?? Seriously? I don't get it either.

POCKET MONSTERS GREEN VERSION: Why am I doing this PD4I1J0
Sorry for the shorter update, but I think I'm gonna leave it off here. Yesterday's nearly 100-image update took me basically all day to put together, so I'm gonna keep things a little shorter from here on out so I can update regularly. See you next time, possibly tomorrow, when we go into the forest!


Last edited by muffinz on Tue Mar 01, 2016 1:00 am; edited 1 time in total
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Post by Spark Eletran on Tue Mar 01, 2016 12:41 am

i rly like how it's just. bird. mouse. worm.

they're not Worm Pokémon

they're just

worm

that's it
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Post by muffinz on Tue Mar 01, 2016 12:58 am

actually i didn't really realize that but you're right

Now I really want to go back and edit my transcriptions of all the Illustrated Handbook entries so they just say "[name], the [title]" because that's definitely funnier
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Post by Captain on Tue Mar 01, 2016 3:47 pm

Ah, bad translations.

For a moment there I thought uyou were naming your pidgey succ bc its a Bobo (ie a boob). But no, that reason works too. Btw, Pidgey in Japanese is Poppo, so yeah, basically the same name.
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Post by muffinz on Thu Mar 03, 2016 2:51 am

Sorry for the delay, but I've been pretty sick the past two days. It's just too uncomfortable for me to sit at the computer and stare at the screen for the 2+ hours it takes to play and write. I feel like I'm starting to get better, so I may or may not be well enough to make the next update tomorrow. Again, I'm really sorry about this happening right at the beginning like this.
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