THE CHATBOX THREAD

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Re: THE CHATBOX THREAD

Post by Sharpedo on Thu Nov 21, 2013 1:52 pm

Hanky Panky wrote:[18:09:51] invisibleTerrarium : You have blasphemed against sharpedus christ
[18:09:51] @ Hanky Panky : have i converted you
[18:10:04] invisibleTerrarium : Game over hp youre going to hell
[18:10:18] @ Hanky Panky : MY WINGS WILL BLASPHEME AGAINST YOUR FACE, HEATHEN
[18:10:29] invisibleTerrarium : UNWASHED PEASANT
[18:10:50] @ Hanky Panky : WINGLESS, INCAPABLE HUMAN
[18:11:02] invisibleTerrarium : THE CULT OF CROBAT SHALL NEVER PREVAIL OVER OUR ONE TRUE WATER/DARK LORD
[18:11:14] @ Hanky Panky : WE ARE NOT A CULT
[18:11:17] @ Hanky Panky : WE ARE A TRUE FAITH
[18:11:35] @ Hanky Panky : YOUR CONNIVING DAYS ARE COMING TO AN END, SHARPEDO
[18:11:35] invisibleTerrarium : YOU SAY THIS YET THERE IS ONLY ONE TRUE FAITH
[18:11:45] invisibleTerrarium : THE CHURCH OF THE TOOTH
[18:12:05] invisibleTerrarium : HIS HOLY ROUGH SKIN SHALL SCRATCH THE DAMNED FROM THIS WORLD
[18:12:18] invisibleTerrarium : SUCH AS YOU, HERETIC
[18:12:49] @ Hanky Panky : WE OF THE BATICAN TURN OUR FOCUS INWARD, AND OUR FAITH IS UNFLINCHING
[18:13:10] @ Hanky Panky : YOU CANNOT DISTURB MY SOUL, FALSE PROPHET
[18:13:15] @ Hanky Panky : omg batican
[18:13:18] invisibleTerrarium : motherfucker that was a good one

WHAT IS THIS INSUBORDINATION?
A MERE CROBAT CAN AND WILL NOT DEFEAT ME; YOUR BLASHEMOUS WINGS WILL BECOME AS SHREDS BEFORE THE CHURCH OF TOOTH.

INVISIBLE TERRARIUM HAS BEEN PROMOTED TO A SAINTLY STATUS FOR HIS VALIAND DEFENSE OF THE FAITH; MAY HE BE AN AMBASSADOR TO ALL OF FORUMERKIND.
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Re: THE CHATBOX THREAD

Post by Dregadude on Thu Nov 21, 2013 3:28 pm

Saint Invisible Terrarium I?

Aka Saint IT I?

Aka SITI?

Aka S?

Aka Sharpedo?

IT'S ALL SO CLEAR NOW
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Re: THE CHATBOX THREAD

Post by Hanky Panky on Thu Nov 21, 2013 8:00 pm

Sharpedo wrote:
WHAT IS THIS INSUBORDINATION?
A MERE CROBAT CAN AND WILL NOT DEFEAT ME; YOUR BLASHEMOUS WINGS WILL BECOME AS SHREDS BEFORE THE CHURCH OF TOOTH.

INVISIBLE TERRARIUM HAS BEEN PROMOTED TO A SAINTLY STATUS FOR HIS VALIAND DEFENSE OF THE FAITH; MAY HE BE AN AMBASSADOR TO ALL OF FORUMERKIND.
GET OUT MY HOUSE MOTHAFUCKA

FUCKIN FALSE PROPHET
TRYNA SPREAD SOME CULT-ASS SHIT
GO BACK TO SCIENCEOLOGY

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Re: THE CHATBOX THREAD

Post by d_what on Thu Nov 21, 2013 8:23 pm

Hanky you should start your own forum that is basically a mirror to this one only purple and featuring Crobat :0 

And then I can try to hack it like a good Sharpedite acolyte. Everybody wins!

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Re: THE CHATBOX THREAD

Post by NinteNerd on Thu Nov 21, 2013 8:34 pm

d_what wrote:Hanky you should start your own forum--
And then I can try to hack it -- Everybody wins!
we have a strange relationship here on PQ...
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Re: THE CHATBOX THREAD

Post by invisibleTerrarium on Thu Nov 21, 2013 10:32 pm

Thank you, Lord Sharpedo. May your Speed boost and your skin be rough forevermore. Amen. smuppedo
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Re: THE CHATBOX THREAD

Post by Dregadude on Fri Nov 22, 2013 3:24 am

So I changed my computer's clock since it was a couple minutes ahead, and then Skype took all incoming messages and filed them under the old time. So we're going to play a game where you try and figure out which messages are from the future, and which were there originally!

in which skype gets retconned:
[11/21/13, 10:09:51 PM] VD: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DGLLHqxS2IE&feature=share&t=19m36s About this point in this video you can see it [a Pokemon using Substitute]
[11/21/13, 10:09:59 PM] Dregadude: .
[11/21/13, 10:10:12 PM] Dregadude: Oh my god
[11/21/13, 10:10:27 PM] Dregadude: I just changed my computer's time because it was ahead by two minutes
[11/21/13, 10:10:33 PM] Dregadude: And now I'm posting IN THE PAST
[11/21/13, 10:10:42 PM] Spark: dun dun dunnn
[11/21/13, 10:10:45 PM] Dregadude: Yeah, it looks like it always did, but fatter and like 5 times as big as I imagined
[11/21/13, 10:10:55 PM] Dregadude: At least, it's putting my words up where they belong chronologically
[11/21/13, 10:10:56 PM] Dregadude: So weird
[11/21/13, 10:10:58 PM] Spark: Substitute is so weird
[11/21/13, 10:11:01 PM] Dregadude: For some reason I always thought it'd be like pillow-sized and filled with Poke-catnip
[11/21/13, 10:11:06 PM] Spark: youre retconning the conversation
[11/21/13, 10:11:08 PM] Dregadude: Why else would enemies attack it
[11/21/13, 10:11:09 PM] Spark: stop being john
[11/21/13, 10:11:25 PM] Spark: I wonder if someday they'll actually make it look like the Pokémon that used it
[11/21/13, 10:11:26 PM] Dregadude: Oh my god Spark your words are in a different spot too
[11/21/13, 10:11:28 PM] Spark: prolly not
[11/21/13, 10:11:31 PM] Spark: woooo
[11/21/13, 10:11:33 PM] Dregadude: Quick we're almost caught up
[11/21/13, 10:11:36 PM] Spark: imma time traveler
[11/21/13, 10:11:37 PM] Dregadude: I wouldn't put it past them
[11/21/13, 10:11:47 PM] VD: Please screenshot it.
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Re: THE CHATBOX THREAD

Post by phantasmalDexterity on Fri Nov 22, 2013 5:10 am

d_what wrote:Hanky you should start your own forum that is basically a mirror to this one only purple and featuring Crobat :0 

And then I can try to hack it like a good Sharpedite acolyte. Everybody wins!
I'm actually more and more certain that Hanky is Sharpedo and he is playing his elusive mind games with us pretending to have a bad relationship with himself so he can create a Shism.
Think about it, the only two people who use coloured texts are Sharpegod and Hanky. Hanky also suspiciosly annoyed by Sharpedo.

'Case cracked' said Detective Haxxor, bringing the straw of his orange juice to his mouth.
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Re: THE CHATBOX THREAD

Post by Hanky Panky on Fri Nov 22, 2013 10:27 am

I'm not sharpedo because if I was sharpedo I would quit posting as sharpedo before I started because logging out and then logging back in as someone else is a pain.

You could say my prinary sin is sloth because I am way too lazy for that shit. Besides, if I was going to do a novelty account I would be crobat and it would be very obvious and transparent who I was.

Yes I like sharpedo, it's always been one of my RSE favorites. But me <3 crobat is the real otp, even more true than me and OJ.

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Re: THE CHATBOX THREAD

Post by phantasmalDexterity on Fri Nov 22, 2013 11:52 am

That's exactly what the person being Sharpedo would say.
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Re: THE CHATBOX THREAD

Post by Dregadude on Fri Nov 22, 2013 1:56 pm

THE PLOT THICKENS
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Re: THE CHATBOX THREAD

Post by d_what on Fri Nov 22, 2013 3:38 pm

He who something something something verb!!


Drega is Sharpedo!!

Alternatively:
Sharpedo is Drega!!

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Re: THE CHATBOX THREAD

Post by Dregadude on Fri Nov 22, 2013 4:44 pm

k sure

I'm not even going to type a long list of reasons why it isn't me, just to confound you guys.
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Re: THE CHATBOX THREAD

Post by NinteNerd on Mon Nov 25, 2013 9:38 pm

[00:09:05 25/11/13] DicksMcgee : And after I kill the dragon
[00:09:13 25/11/13] DicksMcgee : The bandit tries to kill me
[00:09:27 25/11/13] DicksMcgee : You just saw me kill a dragon and eat its soul you dumbass
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Re: THE CHATBOX THREAD

Post by OverlordJ on Mon Nov 25, 2013 9:59 pm

Oh, Nelly plays Skyrim?
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Re: THE CHATBOX THREAD

Post by DicksMcgee on Wed Nov 27, 2013 9:18 pm

I just got it this weekend!
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Re: THE CHATBOX THREAD

Post by Hanky Panky on Thu Nov 28, 2013 2:34 am

I just borrowed skyrim from a friend of mine today. I'm already level 3.

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Re: THE CHATBOX THREAD

Post by OverlordJ on Thu Nov 28, 2013 8:46 am

Skyrim is great, sadly I no longer have enough free time to play it
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Re: THE CHATBOX THREAD

Post by Dregadude on Wed Dec 11, 2013 9:12 pm

I just summarized everything I know about Assassin's Creed from playing Brotherhood, Revelations, and AC3. My fingers hurt.

MASSIVE SPOILERS RELATING TO ASSASSIN'S CREED, OBVIOUSLY

In which Dregadude summarizes five games in "only" forty-five minutes:
[12/11/13, 3:23:10 PM] Dregadude: Alright so once upon a time
[12/11/13, 3:23:15 PM] Dregadude: In AU Earth
[12/11/13, 3:23:30 PM] Dregadude: There was a crazy race of people that looked like humans, called the First Civilization
[12/11/13, 3:23:43 PM] Dregadude: And they were really advanced and stuff and looked super sci-fi
[12/11/13, 3:23:53 PM] Spark: ...i did not expect that
[12/11/13, 3:23:58 PM] Dregadude: And then they realized "oh shit the sun's gonna esplode"
[12/11/13, 3:24:09 PM] Dregadude: So they started sciencing as hard as they could
[12/11/13, 3:24:17 PM] Dregadude: But try as they might they could not save themselves
[12/11/13, 3:24:35 PM] Spark: i thought ac was like ultra oldish and historyesque and all not SCIFI ALIENISH HUMAN-LOOKING GUYS
[12/11/13, 3:24:39 PM] Dregadude: 'pparently there were all sorts of faction wars going on too that distracted them from their science
[12/11/13, 3:24:42 PM] Dregadude: I'm getting there sheesh
[12/11/13, 3:24:46 PM] Spark: okay
[12/11/13, 3:24:51 PM] Dregadude: So they all died
[12/11/13, 3:25:00 PM] Spark: the end
[12/11/13, 3:25:03 PM] Spark: mspa
[12/11/13, 3:25:11 PM] Dregadude: But they hid some stuff for the race that would come after them
[12/11/13, 3:25:18 PM] Dregadude: At least, a few of them did
[12/11/13, 3:25:31 PM] Dregadude: Minerva and Juno and some others, that was mostly covered in 1 and 2 which I didn't play
[12/11/13, 3:25:36 PM] Dregadude: So anyways back to present
[12/11/13, 3:25:58 PM] Dregadude: The world seems the same as ours but it turns out throughout history there's been this secret war between two factions
[12/11/13, 3:26:02 PM] Dregadude: One is the Templars
[12/11/13, 3:26:21 PM] Dregadude: They're all about control and organization and homogenous living, with a few people in charge to pull the strings
[12/11/13, 3:26:36 PM] Dregadude: Personally if this were real life I think I'd side with them but whatever
[12/11/13, 3:26:42 PM] Dregadude: And then there's the Assassins
[12/11/13, 3:26:59 PM] Dregadude: Their creed is "Nothing is true. Everything is permitted."
[12/11/13, 3:27:30 PM] Dregadude: And they're a secret order working to stop the Templars, who pretty consistently are in charge due to their vast resources and cunning leaders
[12/11/13, 3:27:46 PM] Dregadude: But the Assassins managed to survive, despite the Templars trying to weed them out and kill them
[12/11/13, 3:28:00 PM] Dregadude: So the story starts with this little moron named Desmond
[12/11/13, 3:28:09 PM] Dregadude: His life is told really out of order but it goes like this
[12/11/13, 3:28:28 PM] Dregadude: He grew up in a small town hidden in some state in central US
[12/11/13, 3:28:39 PM] Dregadude: It was a city of Assassins living in secret
[12/11/13, 3:28:56 PM] Dregadude: So by this time the Templars have hidden under the guise of Abstergo
[12/11/13, 3:29:11 PM] Dregadude: It's this company that sells all this shit, like toothpaste and band-aids
[12/11/13, 3:29:26 PM] Dregadude: And they use that to fund their secret evil machinations and I don't even know what's going on with those guys
[12/11/13, 3:29:43 PM] Dregadude: yeah it looks like this
[12/11/13, 3:29:44 PM] Dregadude: http://static1.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20120403151824/assassinscreed/images/0/0a/Abstergo-FH.png
[12/11/13, 3:29:52 PM] Spark: alright
[12/11/13, 3:30:02 PM] Dregadude: Assassins' logo looks like this
[12/11/13, 3:30:03 PM] Dregadude: http://static2.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20101211024124/assassinscreed/images/e/ee/AssassinLogo.png
[12/11/13, 3:30:08 PM] Dregadude: You've probably seen it around
[12/11/13, 3:30:11 PM] Spark: ye
[12/11/13, 3:30:20 PM] Dregadude: So Desmond was being all trained to be an Assassin
[12/11/13, 3:30:38 PM] Dregadude: His full name is Desmond Miles btw
[12/11/13, 3:30:51 PM] Dregadude: He's got a dick dad who's mean to him and trains him really harshly
[12/11/13, 3:30:59 PM] Dregadude: So one day he ran away and disappeared to New York
[12/11/13, 3:31:08 PM] Dregadude: He was a bartender for a while
[12/11/13, 3:31:14 PM] Dregadude: But then Abstergo found him and kidnapped him
[12/11/13, 3:31:23 PM] Dregadude: They put him in a machine called the Animus
[12/11/13, 3:31:33 PM] Dregadude: Which allowed him to relive all the memories of his ancestors
[12/11/13, 3:31:56 PM] Dregadude: He started with his ancestor named Altaïr
[12/11/13, 3:32:13 PM] Dregadude: Altaïr was this dude that I don't know much about since he was mostly in 1 I guess
[12/11/13, 3:32:34 PM] Dregadude: He lived at this Masyaf temple in Syria
[12/11/13, 3:32:39 PM] Dregadude: And he was part of the first Assassins
[12/11/13, 3:32:48 PM] Dregadude: He became their leader and a bunch of shit happened
[12/11/13, 3:33:16 PM] Spark: sounds good
[12/11/13, 3:33:35 PM] Dregadude: Then Desmond was rescued by the Assassins and they put him back in the Animus to learn about another ancestor
[12/11/13, 3:33:42 PM] Dregadude: Named Ezio Auditore
[12/11/13, 3:34:10 PM] Dregadude: This guy was super chill, he lived in Italy and his family was killed when he was like 20 and he was a pimp and joined the Assassins somehow
[12/11/13, 3:34:14 PM] Dregadude: That was all in 2
[12/11/13, 3:34:53 PM] Dregadude: Then in Brotherhood Ezio worked to free Rome and routed the corrupt Borgia rulers from the throne and recruited a bunch of guys to be assassins
[12/11/13, 3:35:28 PM] Dregadude: At the end he got this Apple
[12/11/13, 3:35:47 PM] Dregadude: It was part of these artifacts called Pieces of Eden, left behind by the First Civilization
[12/11/13, 3:36:07 PM] Dregadude: Also Ezio lived during the Renaissance and I think Altair was during the Middle Ages sometime
[12/11/13, 3:36:35 PM] Dregadude: Anyways the apple was hidden and Desmond had to find out where it was so he could get it and use it in the modern world to stop Abstergo
[12/11/13, 3:37:03 PM] Dregadude: Then at the end of the game Desmond and co found the Apple underground below the Colosseum
[12/11/13, 3:37:35 PM] Dregadude: He used it and was possessed by Minerva of the First Civ I think
[12/11/13, 3:37:50 PM] Dregadude: She used him to stab his friend Lucy since Lucy was an Abstergo agent in disguise
[12/11/13, 3:38:15 PM] Dregadude: So then Desmond went into shock so his Assassin friends put him back in the Animus and let his dad know where he was
[12/11/13, 3:38:27 PM] Dregadude: His dad came to see him but he was out cold because Revelations was busy happening
[12/11/13, 3:38:47 PM] Dregadude: In Revelations you play as a much older Ezio working to unlock this door in the basement of the Masyaf temple where Altair lived and died
[12/11/13, 3:39:01 PM] Dregadude: He finally got all the keys through shenanigans and unlocked it
[12/11/13, 3:39:24 PM] Dregadude: Inside, Altair was dead in a chair (he sat there until he died, and you play as him and you sit in the chair and it's really emotional and stuff)
[12/11/13, 3:40:10 PM] Dregadude: And Ezio says some stuff to Desmond, basically amounting to him saying "Desmond I don't know who the fuck you are but it sounds like we're in some inter-generational time shit and you're really important so don't fuck shit up"
[12/11/13, 3:40:20 PM] Dregadude: Then that's it for Ezio
[12/11/13, 3:40:23 PM] Dregadude: And Revelations
[12/11/13, 3:40:53 PM] Dregadude: Desmond gets a vision from the First Civ, related to him through the Piece of Eden that Altair was holding and Ezio recovered when he found Altair's body
[12/11/13, 3:41:22 PM] Dregadude: The First Civ says that the sun is gonna esplode again so Desmond has to go to the place where the sun-anti-blowing-up-device is hidden
[12/11/13, 3:41:38 PM] Dregadude: Yeah I don't know it's really vague and jeez why didn't the First Civ use it to save themselves?
[12/11/13, 3:41:55 PM] Spark: wait so the sun like literally exploded
[12/11/13, 3:41:59 PM] Spark: how do we have it
[12/11/13, 3:42:05 PM] Dregadude: Nah it did a solar flare
[12/11/13, 3:42:07 PM] Spark: oh alright
[12/11/13, 3:42:27 PM] Dregadude: It's an actual science fact that every 150 years or so the sun goes through a cycle where it's at a period of intense activity
[12/11/13, 3:42:35 PM] Dregadude: Throwing off electromagnetic waves like mad
[12/11/13, 3:42:54 PM] Spark: just saying "the sun explodes" makes it sound like the sun is physically gonna blow up
[12/11/13, 3:43:05 PM] Spark: which would be problematic
[12/11/13, 3:43:19 PM] Dregadude: And 150 years ago, the only electronics we had was the telegraph, so there are records that they actually took the batteries off the telegraph and it was still functioning on solar energy
[12/11/13, 3:43:45 PM] Dregadude: But if it happened in today's society it would basically fry everything electronic, which would literally be the apocalypse
[12/11/13, 3:43:55 PM] Dregadude: We'd go back to the Stone Age
[12/11/13, 3:44:02 PM] Spark: yeah i was about to say that it was the thing where everything stops working
[12/11/13, 3:44:06 PM] Spark: and all
[12/11/13, 3:44:09 PM] Spark: and that should happen soon
[12/11/13, 3:44:10 PM] Dregadude: In early 2013 scientists predicted about a 1 in 8 chance that that happened
[12/11/13, 3:44:15 PM] Spark: and that will screw everybody over
[12/11/13, 3:44:19 PM] Dregadude: But I guess it didn't
[12/11/13, 3:44:21 PM] Dregadude: So that's good
[12/11/13, 3:44:23 PM] Spark: oh
[12/11/13, 3:44:24 PM] Spark: wait
[12/11/13, 3:44:27 PM] Dregadude: Still something to think about though
[12/11/13, 3:44:27 PM] Spark: was it literally 2013?
[12/11/13, 3:44:30 PM] Dregadude: I think so
[12/11/13, 3:44:32 PM] Spark: well thats good
[12/11/13, 3:44:40 PM] Spark: thougbh hey
[12/11/13, 3:44:43 PM] Spark: we still have 20 days
[12/11/13, 3:44:46 PM] Spark: who knows
[12/11/13, 3:44:48 PM] Dregadude: Otherwise I wouldn't have met you Very Happy
[12/11/13, 3:44:53 PM] Dregadude: Nah I think they said early 2013
[12/11/13, 3:45:10 PM] Spark: they were just a bit off dont worry
[12/11/13, 3:45:14 PM] Spark: its gonna be our christmas gift now
[12/11/13, 3:45:18 PM] Dregadude: >:c
[12/11/13, 3:45:21 PM] Spark: the end of technology
[12/11/13, 3:45:24 PM] Spark: amazing gift right
[12/11/13, 3:45:54 PM] Dregadude: Yeah so in AC world the solar flare is set to occur on 12/21/2012
[12/11/13, 3:46:06 PM] Spark: i wonder why
[12/11/13, 3:46:07 PM] Dregadude: Remember how everyone was predicting that the apocalypse would happen then?
[12/11/13, 3:46:12 PM] Dregadude: AC world did too
[12/11/13, 3:46:29 PM] Dregadude: Anyways they go to the other place Desmond saw that he had to go to but there's a barrier so Desmond has to go into the memories of another ancestor
[12/11/13, 3:46:40 PM] Dregadude: This time it's a cool dude named Haytham Kenway
[12/11/13, 3:46:53 PM] Dregadude: He goes to a play and stabs a guy because that guy had the key
[12/11/13, 3:47:27 PM] Dregadude: He takes the key and flees to America to find the site where the key is used but there's a mutiny on the ship but it doesn't matter and he makes it there fine
[12/11/13, 3:48:03 PM] Dregadude: And it's basically just before the Revolutionary War by this time and Haytham Kenway is British and he came from England so hmmmmm
[12/11/13, 3:48:31 PM] Dregadude: Anyways Haytham Kenway's assignment is to find some people to join him on his side so he can establish a base in the New World
[12/11/13, 3:48:44 PM] Dregadude: He finds some cool dudes and they're like the A Team or whatever
[12/11/13, 3:48:51 PM] Dregadude: This is all AC 3 btw
[12/11/13, 3:49:21 PM] Dregadude: But then suddenly it's revealed that Haytham Kenway, and everyone he recruited, is a TEMPLAR!!!
[12/11/13, 3:49:21 PM] Dregadude: zomg
[12/11/13, 3:49:43 PM] Spark: haytham is which game
[12/11/13, 3:49:48 PM] Dregadude: AC3
[12/11/13, 3:49:59 PM] Dregadude: The end of Revelations was the doom prophecy cutscene
[12/11/13, 3:50:28 PM] Dregadude: Desmond wakes up and is all "wtf" and his dad is like "go find out more" and Desmond says "I hate you dad omg" and his dad punches him and Desmond goes back in the Animus to find out more
[12/11/13, 3:50:33 PM] Dregadude: Desmond's sometimes a little bitch btw
[12/11/13, 3:51:08 PM] Spark: oh hey your messages werent coming
[12/11/13, 3:51:08 PM] Dregadude: So then Haytham Kenway finds out where the site where the key is used is
[12/11/13, 3:51:26 PM] Dregadude: And there is an Indian tribe there secretly protecting it for some reason
[12/11/13, 3:51:37 PM] Dregadude: Oh I guess it's because they have a Piece of Eden that told them how important that place is
[12/11/13, 3:51:44 PM] Dregadude: So they guard it from the settlers
[12/11/13, 3:52:38 PM] Dregadude: Haytham goes there and there's rocks blocking his way so he can't use the key and he's angry but then he has sex with the Indian woman who led him there and she gets pregnant and he didn't know and he goes back to Boston with his homies and the woman's baby is born and his name is... uh...
[12/11/13, 3:52:43 PM] Dregadude: Dregadude looks up the name
[12/11/13, 3:53:10 PM] Dregadude: Ratonhnhaké:ton
[12/11/13, 3:53:13 PM] Dregadude: Obviously
[12/11/13, 3:53:21 PM] Dregadude: I don't know how a : ended up in there either
[12/11/13, 3:53:22 PM] Spark: great name
[12/11/13, 3:53:26 PM] Dregadude: Fuckin Indian languages
[12/11/13, 3:53:49 PM] Dregadude: I guess it's pronounced "RAH-tun-hah-KAY-tun"
[12/11/13, 3:54:10 PM] Dregadude: But you can call him Connor and here's whyyyyy
[12/11/13, 3:54:27 PM] Spark: i wanna call him rat
[12/11/13, 3:54:32 PM] Dregadude: He grows up and he's out playing one day and when he comes back surprise surprise his village is on fire and his mom dies
[12/11/13, 3:54:35 PM] Dregadude: Oh nooooo
[12/11/13, 3:54:52 PM] Spark: poor lil rat
[12/11/13, 3:55:00 PM] Dregadude: He speaks to the village elder and she gives him a Piece of Eden which tells him to look for the Assassin's sign
[12/11/13, 3:55:26 PM] Dregadude: She talks with him and they agree that they don't know what the hell is going on but he should go and find this sign
[12/11/13, 3:55:38 PM] Dregadude: So he stumbles across a house owned by a black man named Achilles
[12/11/13, 3:55:56 PM] Dregadude: Who is a really old Assassin and is in charge of all Assassiny business in the New World
[12/11/13, 3:56:16 PM] Dregadude: And the Assassins are almost wiped out by this time and the Templars are really smug about it too
[12/11/13, 3:56:47 PM] Dregadude: Connor bangs on the door and Achilles answers and Connor says "I wanna train to be an Assassin" but Achilles says no and slams the door
[12/11/13, 3:56:57 PM] Dregadude: Connor sleeps in Achilles' stable and tries again the next day
[12/11/13, 3:57:03 PM] Spark: *rat
[12/11/13, 3:57:14 PM] Dregadude: The next night some Templars(?) come and are going to kill Achilles
[12/11/13, 3:57:31 PM] Dregadude: Connor kills them all with his trusty tomahawk and Achilles says "fine god let's go train jeez"
[12/11/13, 3:57:43 PM] Dregadude: TIME SKIP happens and Connor is an Assassin
[12/11/13, 3:58:29 PM] Dregadude: He goes into town and the Boston Massacre happens I think and he sees his dad and his dad realizes he has a son (??? I guess??? don't remember all too well at this point) and he and his Templar friends blame the massacre on him somehow
[12/11/13, 3:58:54 PM] Dregadude: Anyways it's pretty obvious that the Templars want Britain to win and the Assassins support America
[12/11/13, 3:59:22 PM] Dregadude: Connor gets to meet all the important founding fathers and says "I'll help you guys if you don't burn down my village you dicks"
[12/11/13, 3:59:30 PM] Dregadude: And Washington is all "yeah sure lol"
[12/11/13, 3:59:51 PM] Dregadude: So then Connor goes and wins the Revolutionary War pretty much singlehandedly, impressing generals and shit along the way
[12/11/13, 4:00:21 PM] Dregadude: A few times he sees his father, they start working together for a while and Connor goes on a quest of killing all of Haytham's Templar friends
[12/11/13, 4:00:35 PM] Dregadude: Ending with Thomas Lee, who is this huge asshole who almost killed Connor when he was a kid
[12/11/13, 4:01:08 PM] Dregadude: And so at the end of the game Connor plans this big attack which historically was the last battle of the Revolutionary War
[12/11/13, 4:01:17 PM] Dregadude: At Yorkstown or something, I think
[12/11/13, 4:01:35 PM] Dregadude: So they get Cornwallis to surrender and they're firing on this fort from land and sea and Connor goes in to find his father
[12/11/13, 4:01:41 PM] Dregadude: He does, they battle, Haytham dies
[12/11/13, 4:02:21 PM] Dregadude: Connor finds out at some point that his village sided with the Templars because they swore to protect his village, even though Connor had blamed his father for the village burning down
[12/11/13, 4:02:40 PM] Dregadude: Connor fights his best friend from childhood and has to kill him, oh no, so sad
[12/11/13, 4:03:00 PM] Dregadude: Then plot twist it turns out the Templars actually were protecting the village, and the Americans burned it down
[12/11/13, 4:03:25 PM] Dregadude: So Connor flips out and goes and talks to Washington and he's like "sorry breh" and Connor forgives him I think
[12/11/13, 4:03:46 PM] Dregadude: And then Achilles dies of being really fucking old and Connor is the new head of Assassins in America
[12/11/13, 4:03:47 PM] Dregadude: The End
[12/11/13, 4:03:50 PM] Dregadude: Then in modern times
[12/11/13, 4:04:37 PM] Dregadude: Desmond, who had found out along the way where the keys to unlock the barriers in the place were, and had a few levels to go and get them, finally opens the barrier
[12/11/13, 4:04:52 PM] Dregadude: Juno and Minerva show up and argue with each other and Desmond has a choice
[12/11/13, 4:05:23 PM] Dregadude: Either activate Minerva's machine and save humanity but also fulfill whatever other plans Minerva had,
[12/11/13, 4:05:43 PM] Dregadude: Wait no Juno built the machine, Minerva's trying to persuade you not to use it
[12/11/13, 4:05:47 PM] Dregadude: Fuckin Roman gods
[12/11/13, 4:06:02 PM] Dregadude: So Desmond says "fuck you Minerva" and uses the machine
[12/11/13, 4:06:17 PM] Dregadude: And it electrocutes him and he dies but earth gets all better and humanity is saved
[12/11/13, 4:06:28 PM] Dregadude: And the news reports are like "lotsa solar activity that's weird"
[12/11/13, 4:06:35 PM] Dregadude: "Might be some power-outs"
[12/11/13, 4:06:54 PM] Dregadude: "Oh hey the sun settled its ass down again we're all good"
[12/11/13, 4:06:58 PM] Dregadude: And Desmond is dead
[12/11/13, 4:07:08 PM] Dregadude: And Minerva is free or something????
[12/11/13, 4:07:14 PM] Dregadude: TO BE CONTINUED...?

Jesus Christ why did I do this to myself.
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Re: THE CHATBOX THREAD

Post by Gelatino on Thu Jan 02, 2014 9:17 pm

"and now i'm going to make a nonsensical post on tumblr under the guise of a professional bird reviewer because life is too short and every moment can't be fine art"

- Gelatino, On Life
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Re: THE CHATBOX THREAD

Post by DicksMcgee on Fri Jan 03, 2014 1:34 am

Sick Sparkeletran says: KILLING MYSELF ALWAYS WORKS
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Re: THE CHATBOX THREAD

Post by NinteNerd on Fri Jan 03, 2014 12:10 pm

[1/2/2014 8:43:59 PM] Spark:Takumi just had sex with Quasimodo
[1/2/2014 8:44:19 PM] Takumi: Ah man, I hate it when I'm not paying attention and that happens.

>shit people playing BoardGameOnline say

much later edit:
[00:58:24] Spark Eletran : there was a crouch attack in origins
[00:58:32] Spark Eletran : but in legends they changed it to a ground slam
[00:58:49] muffinz : oh gosh i read that as "crotch attack" at first
[00:59:23] Spark Eletran : eh it kinda has that too
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Re: THE CHATBOX THREAD

Post by Spark Eletran on Fri Jan 17, 2014 10:46 pm

[23:41:27] Spark Eletran : Apparently Zelda lost Link to Peach and is now trying to get in Dedede's pants instead
[23:41:30] DicksMcgee : Doesn't everyone

We now all know what Nelly's into...

context:
[23:39:06] Spark Eletran : Sakurai is abusing his power
[23:39:42] Spark Eletran : JUST BECAUSE YOU'RE THE MAIN DUDE OF THIS GAME DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN SHIP YOUR FAT PENGUIN WITH A PRINCESS, SAKURAI.
[23:39:44] Spark Eletran : IT DOES NOT.
[23:40:37] DicksMcgee : Hehehehe
[23:40:59] Spark Eletran : He enjoys shipping smash characters way too much
[23:41:27] Spark Eletran : Apparently Zelda lost Link to Peach and is now trying to get in Dedede's pants instead
[23:41:30] DicksMcgee : Doesn't everyone
[23:41:37] DicksMcgee : I MEANT
[23:41:40] Spark Eletran : ^Smash canon
[23:41:42] DicksMcgee : ABOUT THE SHIPPING SMASH CHARACTERS
[23:41:49] Spark Eletran : HAHAHAHAAH
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Re: THE CHATBOX THREAD

Post by NinteNerd on Sat Feb 08, 2014 11:59 pm

[10:38:55 PM] Spark: IF YOU'RE NOT A HUMAN, WHAT ARE YOU?!
[10:39:02 PM] Nelly Orange: I am
[10:39:05 PM] Nelly Orange: BORN TO DANCE
[10:39:11 PM] Spark: THAT IS NOT A SPECIES


this is one of the best exchanges i have ever witnessed.
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Re: THE CHATBOX THREAD

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